Marge: You know, someday these kids will be out of the house, and you’ll regret not spending more time with them.
Homer: That’s a problem for future Homer. Man, I don’t envy that guy.
– MoneyBART (The Simpsons Season 22 – Episode 3)
Homer has a lot of eating related vices, but one of the more glaring is that he eats mayonnaise a lot more often then he should. There are at least two other occasions where Homer just straight up eats mayonnaise from the jar, which is definitely another thing that Future Homer has to worry about:
Marge: Homer, we’re picking up cell-phone calls over the baby monitor.
Homer: Ooh! Anything spicy?
Marge: Oh, that’s not the point. We should report this to an Omnitouch care rep. People’s privacy is at stake.
Homer: Great. I’m gonna eat mayonnaise.
– Make Room For Lisa (The Simpsons Season 10 – Episode 16)
Homer: Aren’t you the one who usually worries about stuff?
Marge: Am I?
Homer: If Marge doesn’t worry about the kids, then that leaves me! Help me, mayonnaise!
– Father Knows Worst (The Simpsons Season 20 – Episode 18)
Which is more disgusting? Drinking mayonnaise from the jar or mixing it with vodka and drinking it from the jar? I’m going with the vodka one, if only because if you want to make something even more unhealthy adding alcohol to it seems like the way to go. Plus the smell alone…shudder!
Combine equal parts vodka and mayonnaise. Serve immediately.
This mixture will start to curdle and separate almost immediately so if you’re going to drink this evil concoction, you should do it right away. Already being drunk might also aid you in finding the courage to do this, but it won’t help your stomach from almost immediately rejecting what you’ve just consumed.
I feel like it should be obvious at this point, but don’t make this. The smell alone with have you regretting combining these two things. Future Homer is in for a serious world of hurt.
Cromulence: 0 Ron Swobodas out of 10
Vodka and Mayonnaise Recipe From: MoneyBART (The Simpsons Season 22 – Episode 3)