Twinkie Aged for 10 Years

Marge: We finally have something to put in the wall safe. Hostess Twinkies?
Homer: I heard if you age them for ten years they turn to liquor.
– Milhouse Doesn’t Live Here Anymore (The Simpsons Season 15 – Episode 12)

Twinkie-Screenshot-2
I have my doubts about aging a Twinkie for 10 years in the hopes that it will turn into liquor. Mostly because if this article is to be believed a 40-year-old Twinkie looks pretty similar to a one month old Twinkie.

Plus, I have already managed to debunk a completely different Twinkie related Simpsons urban legend in this post…

Customer: This is what I think of your store!
Apu: Silly customer! You cannot hurt a Twinkie!
– Homer and Apu (The Simpsons Season 5 – Episode 13)

Twinkie-Screenshot-1

Turns out you CAN harm a Twinkie and it’s actually really easy to do. So much so that my first attempt resulted in the packaging popping open and a mess ensued. I was a little gentler on my second attempt:

Harmed-Twinkie

Despite my new found knowledge, I’ve decided to go ahead with the aging process for now. I purchased my “turning into liquor” testing Twinkie on May 26. According to the box this Twinkie will expire on July 2.

Twinkie-Box

So far so good! I’ll update in a few months to see if anything has changed. Or maybe I’ll just get board and throw it in a blender with some alcohol. That’s worked for me in the past anyway.

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