The Lean Cuisini

Moe: Okay, now let’s say I put a lean cuisine in a blender and I pour some beer on it. What do you call that?
Sideshow Mel: A lean cuisini?
Moe: Wrong.
– There’s Something About Marrying (The Simpsons Season 16 – Episode 10)

The Lean Cuisini Screenshot

Lean Cuisine is considered a “healthy” frozen dinner and is targeted toward women. It’s essentially the opposite of Hungry Man, whose slogan “eat like a man” is actually pretty close to this blogs slogan. I think the major difference between eating like a duck and eating like a man (besides the obvious variance in chewing styles) is that eating like man involves a lot of meat and potatoes, while ducks apparently eat food blended with beer. Or at least this duck does.

Ingredients:

  • Lean Cuisine (any variety will do)
  • Beer (any brand will do)

The Lean Cuisini Ingredients

Directions:

Put lean cuisine in a blender and pour some beer on it.

The Lean Cuisini 1

Liquefy until the mixture is as smooth as possible. Serve immediately.

The Lean Cuisini 2

I realized too late that I served the Lean Cuisini in a tumbler glass when it really should have gone into a martini glass – so don’t bother pointing that out. Was I going to make this monstrosity again? Not a chance in hell. What does a Lean Cuisini taste like? Like blended up food chunks with beer mixed in – a thoroughly unpleasant experience that ranks right up there with the Clove Tom Collins Pie. Do not make this.

Cromulence: 0 Jefferson Avenue Exits out of 10

The Lean Cuisini Recipe From: There’s Something About Marrying (The Simpsons Season 16 – Episode 10)

18 Comments
      1. so then put it under “I’m not making that” because I imagine that it would cause Nausea, Heartburn, Indigestion, upset stomach, and diarrhea

    1. When did he make homemade Pepto-Bismol?

      I know he made homemade prozac and said it needed more ice cream.

      1. A quick google search for Homer and Pepto-Bismol doesn’t get much. The only instance I could think of was when it spilled on the bathroom floor and he thought it was “baby blood”.

        1. There was homemade Pepsi, of course, which you actually already did. If you are going to take any drugs from The Simpsons, I recommend Focusyn (even if your testicles will no longer fit in your underwear).

      2. you’re right it was homemade Prozac, not Pepto. It was pink though. It’s from “Homer Bad Man” (just rewatched it)

        1. That’s exactly what I was thinking. I basically just need to mix strawberry ice cream with alcohol and…I’m not sure what else. Ice cream and alcohol always makes me feel better.

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