Homer: I decided to mix the little bits that were left in every liquor bottle. In my haste I had grabbed a bottle of the kid’s cough syrup. It passed the first test, I didn’t go blind. I don’t know the scientific explanation but fire made it good.
Moe: Sounds like one hell of a drink. What do you call it?
Homer: A Flaming Homer.
– Flaming Moe’s (The Simpsons Season 3 – Episode 10)
I know last year on Flaming Moe’s Day aka Veteran’s Day in the US (it can be two things!) I didn’t make this signature drink. As promised, I have made it this year but did not base my recipe on any that I found online. There are many recipes available for a Flaming Homer / Flaming Moe – including the terrible because it’s orange and NOT purple Flaming Moe Energy Drink. However, most of these internet drink recipes try to make the Flaming Homer taste good; some trendy cocktail created by a “mixologist”. But this drink should not taste good at all, not based on what is presented in the episode anyway. And so, because I enjoy torturing my body for other people’s amusement, I made my Flaming Homer as accurate to The Simpsons as possible.
The episode makes it clear that Homer pours the following into his drink: Tequila, Schnapps, Creme de Menthe, Cough Syrup (and possibly love).
Additionally there are two unidentified “In Flight” bottles, several regular sized liquor bottles and one bottle that looks like a wine bottle, so let’s add that to the mix too! It’s not like this drink can get any more gross, especially considering that when Moe makes his first drink he takes a sip, then passes that SAME drink down to the coughing guy at the end of the bar. The Flaming Homer is basically a mix of leftover booze and horrible mouth bacteria.
- Schnapps (I used Gin because it’s basically the same as Schnapps)
- Creme de Menthe (Homemade because I’m not buying a bottle of this stuff)
- Cough Syrup
- Vodka (In Flight bottle)
- Crown Royal (In Flight bottle)
- White wine
- Martini Rosso (leftover from Bart’s Manhattan)
- Triple Sec
Add equal parts of each liquor into a glass, top off with wine and cough syrup. Attempt to light on fire but it won’t work because cough syrup is not flammable or inflammable enough.
Despite how truly awful this tastes, the most disappointing thing about the Flaming Homer is that I wasn’t able to light it on fire. This is now my second attempt (and failure) at lighting something on fire for the blog. It’s almost like in real life things don’t always instantly go up in flames. Of course, I do realize that lighting drinks on fire is a thing that bartenders do, but I couldn’t get it to happen with mine. I even tried carefully spooning a layer of vodka on the top that was already on fire, but it just wouldn’t work.
It probably doesn’t need to be said, but this drink tastes awful. Anything that combines mint and cough syrup flavors is not fit for human consumption. However, my phlegm is feeling loser and I didn’t go blind, so overall a win I guess?
Cromulence: 1 Hairy Drumstick out of 10
The Flaming Homer Recipe From: Flaming Moe’s (The Simpsons Season 3 – Episode 10)
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