Chili Man: Chili! Red hot Texas style chili! And we got ginger ale. Boiling hot Texas style ginger ale! …Texas!
– Bart of Darkness (The Simpsons Season 6 – Episode 1)
It’s very hot where I live right now and I really want some ice cream, or at least enjoy sitting in a nice pool-mobile filled with Epson salts. I guess I will have to settle for spicy chili and boiling hot ginger ale for reasons I’m not entirely clear on anymore. Apparently, locals in Texas call this style of chili a “bowl of red” but I don’t think I own nearly enough cowboy hats to convincingly pull off using that expression. Let’s just call it chili, shall we?
Besides a few delightful layovers at Dallas/Fort Worth International Airport, I have never been to Texas. Therefore, I am basing this recipe on internet reading and not first-hand experience. According to my research, Texas style chili should:
- not include beans;
- not include tomatoes (usually, this one was not as cut and dry);
- include masa for thickening (which I couldn’t find but my chili thickened up just fine so whatever)
- 2 pounds beef chuck or roast
- 2 cups beef stock
- 2 cups water
- 4 cloves of garlic
- 1/2 onion
- Vegetable oil (as needed)
- 8 dried guajillo chiles
- 2 teaspoons chili powder
- 2 teaspoons cumin (ground into powder)
- 1 teaspoon black pepper
- Salt to taste
- Ginger Ale
Dice onion and finely chop garlic; cut beef into 1-inch cubes and set all aside. Rehydrate your guajillo chiles(or whatever chiles you like) by soaking in water until they are soft enough. Remove the seeds depending on how spicy you want things to be. Use a blender and combine rehydrated chiles with water to create a paste and set aside. Heat a large pan with vegetable oil and saute onions until clear, then add garlic and cook for another minute before adding the spices.
Add beef to the mixture and cook until brown. Next add the chili paste and half of your beef stock and set to simmer. Continue adding stock as liquid is cooked off. Meat should be simmer for a minimum of two hours, but the longer you cook the better. Remove from heat and serve with boiling hot, Texas style ginger ale.
I didn’t go into the instructions on preparing the boiling hot ginger ale, since that seemed pretty self explanatory. Plus, I already made Hot Pepsi before and the concept is basically exactly the same. As before, liquids intended to be served carbonated and chilled are not as good boiling hot.
What was good is the chili. I still prefer my chili with beans, green peppers and tomatoes, but eating a giant bowl of beef in a delicious red spicy sauce was still quite tasty. …Texas!
Cromulence: 7 The Tinklers out of 10
Texas Style Chili and Ginger Ale Recipe From: Bart of Darkness (The Simpsons Season 6 – Episode 1)