Stonecutter Ribs

Number One: Tonight we are here to commemorate our glorious society’s 1500th anniversary. And in honor of this momentous occasion, we’re having ribs.
Homer: Yeah! Oh, I need a bib. If I slop any on my shirt, I could lose the respect of my brethren.
Number One: So let us rejoice and enjoy our meal in the shadow of the hallowed sacred parchment.
– Homer the Great (The Simpsons Season 6 – Episode 12)

Stonecutter Ribs Ingredients Screenshot

Summer time equals barbeque time and what better way to enjoy the summer (or your initiation into a secret society) then by having some Stonecutter Ribs. I’d like to take this opportunity to express that I am in no way an expert on ribs nor have I ever claimed to be. Full credit for the dry rub recipe and genral cooking method goes to Amazingribs.com. Also, the barbeque sauce was not homemade, nor was it Best in the West (hehe, that rhymes). The point of this recipe was to get messy and I accomplished that WITHOUT destroying any hallowed sacred parchments, thank you very much.

Ingredients:

  • Baby Back Ribs
  • BBQ Sauce
  • 4 teaspoons Kosher Salt

Dry Rub:

  • 3/4 cup firmly packed dark brown sugar
  • 3/4 cup white sugar
  • 1/2 cup paprika
  • 1/4 cup garlic powder
  • 2 tablespoons ground black pepper
  • 2 tablespoons ground ginger powder
  • 2 tablespoons onion powder
  • 2 teaspoons rosemary powder

Stonecutter Ribs Ingredients

Directions:

Please note: ratios will vary depending on the size and quantity of ribs being made! Preheat BBQ to 235 degrees Fahrenheit. Pull the membrane off the pork ribs and add salt. Next, add the dry rub. I used about five tablespoons of the rub and completely coated the ribs, but of course not all of the rub is going to stay on the ribs and that’s ok.

Stonecutter Ribs Ingredients 2

Cook ribs on the BBQ on indirect heat at 235 degrees Fahrenheit for about two hours. Next, wrap the ribs in tin foil. Put them back on grill, on indirect heat at the same temperature for another two hours. Remove the ribs from the heat and carefully remove the foil. Next, place ribs meat side down on direct heat for about 15-20 minutes. Be careful, the meat will be super hot and could break in half at this point! This last cooking step is to help firm up the meat. Finally, add two coats of sauce, flip, add three coats of sauce to the meaty side.

Stonecutter Ribs

So you might notice that the final picture shows half sauced and half unsauced ribs. That’s because I wanted to try the ribs both ways and I don’t feel bad about that at all. Of course, the ribs were fall off the bone delicious. Any recipe that takes this much time and effort is going to result in some quality meat. Don’t worry, a mess was made, all parchments were spared…although I’m not commenting on how many Stones of Shame were involved.

Cromulence: 10 Rigged Oscar Nights out of 10

Stonecutter Ribs Recipe From: Homer the Great (The Simpsons Season 6 – Episode 12)

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