Square Pancakes

Lisa: Tiny little people! My God! I’ve created life!
Marge: Lisa! Breakfast! We’re having waffles!
Lisa: Ooh! Waffles! Hey, these aren’t waffles. These are just square pancakes.
Marge: I’m sorry, honey, the waffle irons in the shop.
Lisa: That waffle irons been in the shop forever.
– Treehouse of Horror VII (The Simpsons Season 8 – Episode 1)

Square Pancakes Screenshot
Why, oh why, would the waffle iron be the in shop I wonder? Perhaps because it’s coated in a sticky sweet mess of pancake batter, caramel and liquid smoke. Whatever the cause, it seems the Simpsons family (or at least Lisa) favors waffles over pancakes since Lisa is pretty disappointed to get square pancakes instead of waffles for breakfast. It’s actually pretty difficult to make square pancakes, assuming you aren’t cheating by using a square pan. Marge should really hurry up and get that waffle iron fixed, if only to save herself the aggravation of going through the “waffle making” process every morning.

Ingredients:

  • 1 Cup Pancake Mix
  • 1 Cup Milk
  • 1 Egg
  • 1 Tablespoon Sugar (optional)

Square Pancake Ingredients

Directions:

Measure out pancake mix and pour into a large bowl. Mix in egg, followed by milk and sugar. Let batter mix sit for 5-10 minutes so it has time to rise a little. Heat up a skillet and pour pancake batter into a perfect square shape despite the batter pouring into more of a round shape. Good luck. There are two ways to create square pancakes without a square pan.

1) You can create the square shape by cutting off the rounded edges:

Square Pancake 1

2) You can painstakingly mold the pancake into a square with patience and love:

Square Pancake 2

Marge doesn’t seem like the type to cut corners or cut pancakes, so I think she would have gone with the patience and love pancake method – especially given how guilty she sounds about lying to Lisa about breakfast. Making square pancakes is much more difficult than waffles since you just pour batter into a waffle iron and let it do its thing. Making pancakes (and especially making square pancakes) you have to flip and monitor AND lie to your children. Personally I would just go with Vaseline on Toast and call it a day.

Cromulence: 8 Re-bigulators out of 10

Square Pancakes Recipe From: Treehouse of Horror VII (The Simpsons Season 8 – Episode 1)

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