Postum

Mr. Burns: You call this Postum? You call this a tax return? You call this a supercomputer?
– Homer the Smithers (The Simpsons Season 7 – Episode 17)

Postum Screenshot

To be clear. I have not prepared a tax return or build a supercomputer for this blog entry. I just made the postum. Also, what the hell is postum? Wikipedia defines postum as “a powdered roasted-grain beverage once popular as a coffee substitute. The caffeine-free beverage was created by Postum Cereal Company founder C. W. Post in 1895 and marketed as a healthful alternative to coffee.”

Now let’s see what the good people at the Postum company have to say about their beverage:

  • The Hot Beverage with Warm Memories
  • Ahhhhh. This is What Wholesome Tastes Like

So basically if you’re into drinking hot beverages but can’t find decaff coffee, herbal tea, hot chocolate, apple cider, or warm milk then it looks like postum is for you!

Some postum recipes called for both ground wheat and bulgar wheat. Two kinds of wheat? I don’t have time for that! Especially considering I’m making a recipe that I’m fairly certainly I won’t like or consume past the testing phase. Anyway, I just used ground wheat.

Ingredients:

  • 2 cups fine ground wheat
  • 1 cup cornmeal
  • 1/4 cup molasses

Postum Ingredients

Directions:

Add all ingredients in a bowl and mix until well combined. Spread evenly on a baking pan and roast for… FIVE hours?!? (oh man, why did I start this right before bedtime?). Once cooled, add 1-2 tablespoons to boiling water and consume with or without milk.

Postum

When I originally conceived of this recipe I didn’t pay very close attention to the roasting time. As such, my house ended up smelling like roasting wheat and molasses for a few days. Still not as bad as when I intentionally burned that cake, but not great either. When the mixture was finally done and cooled I added it to water to enjoy a nice, wholesome drink:

Postum In Water

It tasted ok, but I couldn’t get over the sediment left on the bottom of the cup. I’m sure that the store bought postum doesn’t have this problem; but seeing as how I enjoy my hot beverages brimming with caffeine, I can’t see this drink becoming something I drink on a regular basis anyway.

Cromulence: 3 Maters out of 10

Postum Recipe From: Homer the Smithers (The Simpsons Season 7 – Episode 17)

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