Marge: Homer, John brought us cactus candy.
Homer: Look, John, you seem like a perfectly nice guy and all. Just stay the hell away from my family!
John: Well, now you don’t get any candy. No, that’s cruel. Take a teensy piece.
– Homer’s Phobia (The Simpsons Season 8 – Episode 15)
I had never heard of Cactus Candy before seeing this Simpsons episode. However, I feel a little betrayed because when I bought some Cactus Candy while visiting Arizona – which, let’s be honest, smells funny – I discovered it doesn’t look anything like the candy featured on the show!
So I’m left to wonder if episode Cactus Candy was supposed to be “festive” or if the show writers just didn’t know what Cactus Candy was. Or perhaps, more accurately, the animators didn’t know what Cactus Candy was and just went with “cacti are green, so let’s make the candy green” which still doesn’t explain the pink candy. Basically, this whole thing is way more complicated then it needs to be and now I want some sugar.
The candy itself tastes fine, kind of like chewy cactus minus the prickles…I assume. Having never actually eaten a cactus I can’t say this is totally accurate. Zap! Zap!
Cromulence: 5 Banned Pogo Stilts out of 10
No Fuss, No Muss: Cactus Candy From: Homer’s Phobia (The Simpsons Season 8 – Episode 15)