Milhouse’s Vaseline on Toast

Lisa: Please don’t ruin this for me, Bart.  I think he’s starting to like me.
Bart: Milhouse likes you.
Lisa: Oh please! Milhouse like Vaseline on toast!
Bart: Hmm.
– Lisa’s Date With Density (The Simpsons Season 8 – Episode 7)

Milhouse’s Vaseline on Toast Screenshot

One of the longest running plot points on The Simpsons is that Homer will eat basically anything. In fact, I can name two other instances where he eats a Petroleum based product.

Lisa the Beauty Queen – Handfuls of Petroleum Jelly:

Handfuls of Petroleum Jelly Screenshot

Don’t Fear the Roofer – Rubber mouth guard covered in Vaseline:

Rubber mouth guard covered in Vaseline Screenshot

But this time a gross petroleum recipe doesn’t involve Homer at all, but instead that lovable class coward Milhouse. Also of interest is that Bart is apparently intrigued by the idea of Vaseline on Toast, so I needed to see what all the fuss was about.


  • Bread
  • Vaseline

Vaseline On Toast Ingredients


Place bread in toaster and toast to your desired toasting level. Spread Vaseline evenly on toast.

Vaseline On Toast

While this was no Clove Tom Collins Pie, it was also not a pleasant tasting experience – basically a super synthetic tasting oily product slathered on toast. I like to eat my toast straight from the toaster and butter it right away, so I did the same with the Vaseline. It melted almost immediately and looked very similar to butter as you can see in the picture above. I tell you this purely for informative reasons and not as a suggestion on pranking someone into eating disgusting toast. Because that would be wrong.

Cromulence: 2 1979 Honda Accords out of 10

Milhouse’s Vaseline on Toast Recipe From: Lisa’s Date With Density (The Simpsons Season 8 – Episode 7)

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