Marge: Urchins! They took my cupcakes!
Patrick Farrelly: All right, you unwanted miracles, give back the lady’s cupcakes. You don’t have the teeth for it.
Urchin: Aye, but we could gum the frosting.
Patrick Farrelly: Well, if it’s good gumming you’re after, wouldn’t you rather have this lovely cabbage? Here you go, ma’am. Not a sprinkle nor jimmy askew.
Marge: Thank you so much…
Patrick Farrelly: Mr Patrick Farrelly at your service.
Marge: Marge Simpson. Well, Mr. Farrelly, the least I could do is offer you a cupcake.
Patrick Farrelly: Mmm. Light, moist, and such a marvelous shape retention. Marge, I own a small bakery. Will you bake for me?
Marge: Me? A professional baker’s employee? Imagine how different my life would be.
– Sex, Pies and Idiot Scrapes (The Simpsons Season 20 – Episode 1)
This recipe seemed pretty straightforward to me: basic vanilla cupcakes with shamrock frosting. But it’s a slippery slope, going from a wholesome amateur baker to a professional erotic baker. And so I had to be extra careful when making Marge’s Shamrock Cupcakes. I could have unwittingly started making freshly frosted ass cake as I innocently made these cupcakes while drinking a belt of scotch…it IS St. Patrick’s Day after all, plus I haven’t slept in days.
- 1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
- 1 teaspoon baking powder
- 2 large eggs
- 1 cup sugar
- 1/2 cup melted butter
- 2 teaspoons pure vanilla extract
- 1/2 cup milk
- 1 1/2 cups confectioners’ sugar
- 1/2 cup butter
- 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
Combine flour and baking powder, set aside. Beat eggs for several minutes and add sugar and vanilla extract. Next add butter and then milk. Slowly add dry ingredients to wet until well combined.
In a stand mixer slowly whip together butter and confectioners sugar for several minutes. Add vanilla extract and continue whipping for another minute. Add desired food coloring to achieve green color.
As I’ve proven in previous entries, cake decorating is not my strongest baking skill. Still, I managed to avoid making any lewd cakes while getting drunk, while also not horribly burning myself on the oven. Happy St. Patrick’s Day!
Cromulence: 7 Day old wangs out of 10
Marge’s Shamrock Cupcakes Recipe From: Sex, Pies and Idiot Scrapes (The Simpsons Season 20 – Episode 1)