Homer: Are you sure that’s enough? You know how the boss loves your delicious gelatin desserts!
Marge: Oh Homer, Mr. Burns just said he liked it…once.
Homer: Marge, that’s the only time he’s ever spoke to me without using the word…bonehead.
– There’s No Disgrace Like Home (The Simpsons Season 1 – Episode 4)
As an adult, about the only time that I make Jello is in shot form. So for this recipe I had to wrap my mind around the whole concept of substituting vodka for water. However, replicating Marge’s Delicious Gelatin Dessert isn’t simply adding hot and cold water to a colorful powder. It was actually more of a challenge then I had anticipated, mostly because marshmallows are stupid and don’t stay where they’re supposed to…despite my shooting a marshmallow and yelling “let that be a lesson to the rest of you marshmallows!”.
- 2 Packages of Lime Jello
- 10 Marshmallows
Protip: Jello comes with directions on the side of the box. However, just in case you’re still confused you add a cup of boiling water for each pack of Jello and stir until the mixture is dissolved. Next you add a cup of cold water, stir and place your now lukewarm liquid into the fridge to set. If you want to make your Jello tall like Marge’s you will need a dedicated mold. Not being a 73 year old grandmother, I wasn’t about to spend money on a mold and I found a tall, narrow bowl worked just fine. Actually, I lied. In my first attempt at making this I bought a dish from the thrift store for a one dollar:
However, my mistake was going wide instead of tall and so things turned out horribly, plus those stupid marshmallows ruined everything so I had to try again. Since I haven’t complained about marshmallows enough already, let me tell you more. If you add marshmallows to Jello while it’s still liquid they turn to complete mush and are disgusting. Here’s what you need to do: wait approximately two hours before adding marshmallows to your Jello. The consistency of the Jello should be not quite liquid and not quite solid (solquid?) and that will allow you to add marshmallows that will sit still and behave dammit! Anyway, by following this method I was able to achieve the satisfying removal of a marshmallow just like Homer and the marshmallow still maintained it’s consistency!
It should be noted that when Mr. Burns is presented with the Gelatin Dessert he says: “Oh, for the love of Peter! It seems that some damned fool went around telling everyone that I loved that slimy goop!”
Not to sound like Jeff Albertson or anything, but a later Simpson’s episode, Burns’ Heir (Season 5 – Episode 18), the following exchange takes place between Mr.s Burns and Bart:
Bart: Uh…I think I’d like to go home.
Mr. Burns: If you stay, you can have anything you want to eat. Even…some sort of gelatin dish. It’s made from hooves, you know.
– Burns’ Heir (The Simpsons Season 5 – Episode 18)
Which is it Monty, do you like gelatin or not?
Cromulence: 6 patented aggression therapy mallets out of 10
Marge’s Delicious Gelatin Dessert From: There’s No Disgrace Like Home (The Simpsons Season 1 – Episode 4)
Other Places You Can Find This Recipe:
This is a very common recipe. However most sites I searched suggest substituting fruit for marshmallows. But remember: you chose fruit, you live with fruit.