Lisa: Dad, look. I made fish sticks. They’re burned on the outside but they’re frozen on the inside so it balances out.
– The Last Temptation of Homer (The Simpsons Season 5 – Episode 9)
I’m fairly certain that burning something on the outside while it remains frozen on the inside is impossible for something the size of a fish stick. A complete buffalo on the other hand…I think as long as it’s not flash fried in 40 seconds, you could probably pull off the burned/frozen dichotomy. Since I don’t currently own a used Navy deep fryer or have a spare buffalo lying around, I decided to test out the Lisa’s fish stick recipe.
- 1 fish stick (I’m not about to go wasting fish sticks by burning them all)
Preheat oven to it’s highest, double broil setting (my oven goes to 550 degrees Fahrenheit). Take fish sticks directly from the freezer to the oven so they don’t have time to warm up. Cook until blackened on the outside and (hopefully) still frozen on the inside.
As suspected, this didn’t work at all. I cooked the fish stick for 13 minutes to achieve the burned look but by then it was thoroughly cooked on the inside. And it actually tasted surprisingly ok given how nasty it looked. The inside was cooked well and was not at all frozen. Another example of cartoon logic sadly not translating into the far less hilarious real world.
Cromulence: 2 Naked Chicks Riding a Clam out of 10
Lisa’s Burned Frozen Fish Sticks From: The Last Temptation of Homer (The Simpsons Season 5 – Episode 9)