Chief Wiggum: Well, I can picture the cheese, but, uh, do they have Krusty partially gelatinated, non-dairy, gum-based beverages?
Lou: Mm-hmm. They call them shakes.
Eddie: Huh, shakes. You don’t know what you’re getting.
– 22 Short Films About Springfield (The Simpsons Season 7 – Episode 21)
I know it’s a joke, but Eddie kind of has a point here. According to the Wikipedia definition, a milkshake is: “a sweet, cold beverage which is usually made from milk, ice cream, or iced milk, and flavorings or sweeteners such as butterscotch, caramel sauce, chocolate syrup, or fruit syrup.” So there are a lot of possibilities for milkshakes ingredients ingredients. But with partially gelatinated, non-dairy, gum-based beverages you know exactly what you’re getting!
I decided to make this beverage as literally as possible, but I also wanted it to taste good and have the consistency of a shake. To make it authentic I used gelatin and xanthan gum (a very common thickening agent). To make it taste good I used vanilla almond milk since it’s non-dairy and, in my opinion, tastes good – plus I added some extra sugar just to be sure.
- Vanilla Almond Milk
- Xanthan Gum
- Simple Syrup
Pour 1/3 cup of almond milk into a blender, add a packet of gelatin and pour approximately 1/4 cup of warm simple syrup on top. Blend for 2 minutes until the mixture starts to foam. Add another 2/3 cup of almond milk and 1 teaspoon of xanthan gum. Mix until the mixture achieves a shake-like consistency.
The consistency turned out really well and it didn’t taste that bad either, I think Krusty would be proud. One thing to note is that while this drink starts out similar to a shake in consistency, that won’t last long once the gelatin has a chance to set. Your best bet is to drink this within 30 minutes of making it or you will definitely need a spoon to finish it off.
As for the taste, it was ok. Even though you don’t know what you’re getting, I have to say I prefer a milkshake made with some variety of ice cream and flavoring over a partially gelatinated, non-dairy, gum-based beverage.
Cromulence: 5 Fangorias out of 10
Krusty’s Partially Gelatinated, Non-Dairy, Gum-Based Beverages Recipe From: 22 Short Films About Springfield (The Simpsons Season 7 – Episode 21)