Homer: Oh, who am I kidding? I am slow.
Marge: Oh, Homey, if you feel so bad about yourself, there’s always things you can do to feel better.
Homer: Take another bath in malt liquor?
Marge: There’s that…or you could take an adult education course.
Homer: Oh, and how is “education” supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home wine making course and I forgot how to drive?
Marge: That’s because you were drunk!
Homer: And how.
– Secrets of a Successful Marriage (The Simpsons Season 5 – Episode 22)
I love that the bedtime exchange between Homer and Marge includes not one, but two references to Homer’s alcoholism. Home wine making courses probably do result in some people sampling a little too much of the “fruits” of their labor. However, taking a bath in malt liquor is taking drunkenness to the next level. And now it’s time for some math…NERRRRRRDDD!
Let’s assume the Simpson bathtub is approximately 60″ L x 30″ W x 14″ H and can hold approximately 58 gallons of liquid. Meanwhile, malt liquor is traditionally sold in 40 ounce bottles. Homer would need 7424 US ounces to completely fill the tub which equals a little more than 185 bottles of malt liquor. Of course, we must keep in mind Homer’s 239 pound body – so he’s obviously going to need less than that without making an awful mess. Still, even if he used 100 bottles of malt liquor, that’s an expensive, albeit delicious, bath.
I’m Not Making That: Bath of Malt Liquor From: Secrets of a Successful Marriage (The Simpsons Season 5 – Episode 22)