Homer’s Lawnmower

Ron Howard: Do I smell vodka…and wheatgrass?
Homer: It’s called a lawnmower, I invented it. Do you want one?
Ron Howard: Yeah, okay.
Kim Basinger: And I’ll have a rum and zinc.
Ron Howard: Ooh, I’ll have one of those, too.  Hey, can I crash here tonight?
Homer: Sure, we’ll all stay!
– When You Dish Upon a Star (The Simpsons Season 10 – Episode 5)

Homer’s Lawnmower Screenshot

So first of all, I didn’t make the Rum and Zinc. Here are my reasons:

  • I’m thankful that I live in live in a world of telephones, car batteries, handguns, and many things made of zinc. No way am I depleting the precious zinc supply by trying to dissolve it in some rum
  • I suspect that rum and zinc will taste exactly the same as regular rum, with a slight pill-like after taste
  • I don’t feel like spending money to buy a bottle of zinc pills and then only use a single one. If anyone wants to send me some unsolicited drugs in the mail though…

The lawnmower is a much better drink anyway and it’s endorsed by Ron Howard so you know it’s good! Having never tried wheatgrass juice before, I was expecting it to taste pretty gross based on Lisa’s reaction to it in “Make Room For Lisa” and knowing what I do now, that response is justified.

Lisa Wheatgrass Juice

Ingredients:

  • Vodka
  • Wheatgrass
  • Water

Homer’s Lawnmower Ingredients

Directions:

Chop a few handfuls of wheatgrass and put in blender. Pour equal parts water and vodka (I used two shots each) into blender. Mix until well blended and serve immediately.

Homer’s Lawnmower

The so-called health benefits of wheatgrass juice are hotly debated on the internet; with science saying “meh, it’s not really hurting you as long as you don’t drink a gallon a day”, while certain other folks claim it can basically prevent every disease and condition that exists. Not being a scientician myself, I can’t comment on the health benefits. What I can tell you is that the lawnmower tasted pretty bad. It was kind of like some horrible “medicine” given to you by a crooked shaman, and then you trip out for the next 18 hours and lose your pants.

Thankfully, I did not go on a spiritual journey or lose my pants (don’t you hate pants?) after drinking this. I mostly just had a bit of a tummy ache. Also, the wheatgrass stalks got all tangled in my blender and I had to spend ten minutes taking it apart. So while the drink recreation was a success, I wouldn’t make this again. Maybe I should try the Rum and Zinc after all…any takers on shipping me some zinc?

Cromulence: 2 Talking pies out of 10

Homer’s Lawnmower & Rum and Zinc Recipe From: When You Dish Upon a Star (The Simpsons Season 10 – Episode 5)

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