Happy-Cracker Snack Platter

Marge: Pimento nose, and voila! Mommy’s patented Happy-Cracker Snack Platter.
– Homer’s Phobia (The Simpsons Season 8 – Episode 15)


So apparently Easy Cheese is not available for sale in the country that I currently reside,(aka not America). So, I had to improvise to make the Happy-Cracker Snack Platter and replaced Easy Cheese with Cheez Whiz. Now, I’m no scientician, but I have to tell you that both of these products can barely be classified as “food” and really shouldn’t be consumed based purely on the color, consistency, taste, and ingredient list.


  • Round crackers (I used water crackers)
  • Olives (my olives were stuffed with pimentos)
  • Pimentos
  • Easy Cheese / Cheese Whiz depending on the country



Places crackers on a serving dish. If olives are stuffed with pimentos, remove stuffing beforehand. Cut olives into round “eye” shapes, place two on each cracker. Next, cut pimentos into “nose” shape, which should resemble a square as much as possible and place one on each cracker below the eyes. If you have access to Easy Cheese, spray the smiley face onto the cracker. If you only have Cheese Whiz, attempt to make a smiley face but you’re probably going to smear it all over the place and generally make a mess.


All of my crackers look less happy and more like deranged bedlamites from the local insane asylum. The good news is that this snack went over quite well at the party I went to, with every cracker being eaten. As mentioned previously, I strongly dislike the taste of olives so this wasn’t something I enjoyed. Plus I don’t like Cheese Whiz either. But the crackers were nice!

Cromulence: 3 Annual Gift Mans out of 10

Happy-Cracker Snack Platter Recipe From: Homer’s Phobia (The Simpsons Season 8 – Episode 15)

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