Marge: Oh, these look good: Guilt-Free Steak-fish Fillets.
Moe: Nah, let me level with you, Marge. That’s just our name for bottom-feeding suction eel. You don’t want that.
– Bart Sells His Soul (The Simpsons Season 7 – Episode 4)
Before I got into the eel preparation and cooking, I needed to do some research – because what is a steak-fish exactly? Is there such a thing as bottom-feeding suction eel? Also, spoiler alert: I bought ready to serve eel, because skinning and gutting an eel…look I just wasn’t in the mood, ok.
First of all, steak-fish is a thing, but it’s a regional food that doesn’t have a “true” definition. If you’re from Baltimore you would understand, and even then, it seems like only certain parts of Baltimore – perhaps someone can enlighten me in the comments. According to this website, steak-fish is: “a name given to some species of fish that has a delicate flavor, a texture similar to catfish, and is cut into steaks, and either fried or baked (although I suppose it can be poached as well).”
However, this website describes steak-fish as “the generic description given to almost all white-fleshed fish served in restaurants.” Ok, generic fits in better with an Uncle Moe Family Feedbag style restaurant so I guess that’s why it’s on the menu. But I don’t think many people would confuse eel for catfish as they are not similar in appearance, texture, or taste.
Now, as for eels, while they do live on the bottom of bodies and water and burrow they aren’t actually “bottom-feeding” as they are almost exclusively predatory animals. The suction thing isn’t really true either. In fact, eel is a popular food in many countries. I guess perhaps the word eel just sounds gross to an American audience?
- White Rice
Per the instructions, boil eel in the bag for 4 minutes. Serve over plain, white rice.
Marge is advised not to order this dish, so I figured I would try to make it an unappetizing as possible, while remaining somewhat healthy without the adding cost of expensive vegetables. After all, this is supposed to be “guilt free” which I interpreted as “low fat” so I didn’t add any sauce or condiments to the rice. I realize that plain, white rice isn’t as healthy as brown rice – but that seems like more work and expense for Uncle Moe.
I like eel though, so eating this really wasn’t an issue. But given the choice between this and Moe’s Hobo Chicken Chili – I’m going for the chili every time.
Cromulence: 4 Potato Bugs out of 10
Guilt Free Steak Fish Fillets Recipe From: Bart Sells His Soul (The Simpsons Season 7 – Episode 4)