Flanders Family Non-Fat Ice Milk

Ned: Come on, you gloomy Gus’. Who’s up for a big bowl of non-fat ice milk?
Rod: I want wintergreen!
Maude: Unflavored for me
– Home Sweet Homediddly-Dum-Doodily (The Simpsons Season 7 – Episode 3)

Flanders Family Non-Fat Ice Milk Screenshot 1

There’s a lot of dairy related humor going on in Home Sweet Homediddly-Dum-Doodily – which is one of my personal favorite episodes I might add. First we’ve got Nachos Flanders Style, but as George Harrison would say “it’s been done”. And so I needed to figure out how to make ice cream without actually buying an ice cream maker. Apparently, this is not possible. Thankfully I have friends that are kind enough to let me borrow their expensive kitchen machinery and I only had to leave them a $200 deposit!

Rod, in typical Rod fashion, wants wintergreen non-fat ice milk. There was no wintergreen extract at the grocery store, but there was peppermint extract. I know they sell wintergreen extract on the internet, but then every time the female carrier came to my house I’d be saying “Where’s my wintergreen extract?  Where’s my wintergreen extract? Where’s my wintergreen extract?” Which is hilarious when you’re 10, less so as an adult. So now I have another one-time use ingredient to collect dust along with my cream of coconut and agnosia bitters. Maybe if I hadn’t bought all those ingredients I could have afforded that ice cream maker after all?

Ingredients:

  • Skim Milk
  • Peppermint Extract (use a small amount, probably 1/4 teaspoon)

Nonfat Ice Milk Ingredients

Directions:

Follow whatever instructions your ice cream gives you. I cannot stress this enough. If you deviate you will either end up with watery ice milk or something closer to butter in texture. I added 1 cup of skim milk and set it in the ice cream maker.

Nonfat Ice Milk

I was worried that the skim milk wouldn’t turn into ice cream because there wasn’t enough fat, but it actually turned out ok. The non-fat ice milk tasted like frozen milk, can you believe it? But I cheated and added some sugar to my second batch and this tasted surprisingly good. Plus, sugar has no fat so it’s still totally healthy.

Less successful was my attempt at “wintergreen”. Apparently peppermint extract is super powerful and my ambitious 1 teaspoon was way more than necessary for the 1 cup of milk I added. So fair warning on that. It basically tasted like milk and mouthwash frozen together.

Flanders Family Non-Fat Ice Milk Screenshot 2

Cromulence: Unflavored Non-Fat Ice Milk 5 Stupid Baby’s out of 10 / Wintergreen Non-Fat Ice Milk 2 Stupid Baby’s out of 10

Flanders Non-fat Ice Milk Recipe From: Home Sweet Homediddly-Dum-Doodily (The Simpsons Season 7 – Episode 3)

 

5 Comments
    1. Was just watching The Great British Bake Off and everyone had to make alternative (non-dairy) ice cream. They all went for the coconut and it all looked so much better than my ice milk. Such is the your life when you are forced for authenticity over flavor.

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