The Flanders Family are well known for their bland, boring food. The plain “Popsicle” was a reader request; but then I started thinking about other Flanders foods. I didn’t think any of these recipes really qualified for their own separate blog entry. So I decided to group them together. Now let’s take a tour and see how truly boring food is next door from the Simpsons house!
Ned: Why, thank you, Homer. It’s a Popsicle in my favorite flavor: plain.
– Dude, Where’s My Ranch? (The Simpsons Season 14 – Episode 8)
Freeze water in a freezer. If you don’t have a freezer, trying using a cool, wet sack.
I mean, it’s an ice cube and it tastes like nothing. Would not recommend as a frozen treat.
Plain White Bread with Dippin Water
Ned: Oh, can you believe it? It almost seemed like those folks were making fun of old Steady Neddy.
Maude: Well, you may be a bit cautious but what’s wrong with that? Some people like chunky peanut butter, some like smooth.
Ned: And some people just steer clear of that whole hornet’s nest. I’ll stick with just plain white bread thank you very much, maybe with a…
Maude, Rod and Todd: Glass of water on the side for dippin’!
– Viva Ned Flanders (The Simpsons Season 10 – Episode 10)
Pour a glass of water. Dip bread in water and consume before the bread completely evaporates in the water. This step is crucial or the whole thing will turn into cold bread soup.
This was not at all pleasant to eat. Given a choice between plain bread or plain bread with water for dippin, I will forgo the water every time.
Angel Food with Chocolate on Top
Flanders: Reverend, care for some of my devil’s food cake?
Lovejoy: Is that really devil’s food?
Flanders: No. It’s angel food with chocolate on top.
Lovejoy: Mmm-hmm. I knew it.
– The Good, the Sad and the Drugly (The Simpsons Season 20 – Episode 7)
- Angel Food Cake Mix
- Chocolate Frosting
Yeah that’s right, I used a boxed cake. You’re technically getting three recipes in one for this blog post. Anyway, follow the box directions and bake the cake.
Once the cake has cooled, frost with the chocolate frosting.
This was not bad! Although, it’s pretty hard to go wrong with anything that has chocolate frosting on it. Ned may be onto something here.
Overall, my opinion on food from the Flanders Flock has not changed: it’s bland and boring, just like them! The only reason Ned showed up to the church bake sale with an actual cake and not Non-Fat Ice Milk is that instead of making fun of his taste in bland food, they’re making fun of his more recent (by season anyway) religious zealotry. After Maude died things really took a turn for poor Neddy. Apparently now he’s so afraid of his Lord that he can’t even make devil’s food cake? I guess they don’t call it Flanderization for nothing.
Cromulence: Plain Popsicle 2 Simonizes out of 10 / Plain White Bread with Dippin Water 1 Moody Blues out of 10 / Angel Food with Chocolate Frosting 7 Ignoritals out of 10
Flander’s Family Foodily-Doodily Recipes From: Dude, Where’s My Ranch? (The Simpsons Season 14 – Episode 8) / Viva Ned Flanders (The Simpsons Season 10 – Episode 10) / The Good, the Sad and the Drugly (The Simpsons Season 20 – Episode 17)