Lisa: Lousy meat-eating scum.
Lisa: Not you. I’m going over to protest this disgusting new restaurant called The Slaughterhouse. It’s decorated with hanging steer carcasses and a fountain of blood.
Marge: Oh, I heard about that place on The Red Grocer.
Lisa: The worst part is you pick out your own cow and they kill it right in front of you.
Marge: Well, maybe the animals don’t mind, honey. They might enjoy being the center of attention.
Bart: I think I read somewhere that cows like being killed.
Homer: Wait! There’s a place like that in Springfield? Then why are we eating this crap? Come on, everybody. We’re going to The Slaughterhouse.
Marge: You didn’t need to knock the food on the floor.
Homer: Didn’t I?
– Maximum Homerdrive (The Simpsons Season 10 – Episode 17)
Tonight, on Eye on Springfield…The Slaughterhouse! One of the greatest steak house ideas and yet as far as I can tell this type of restaurant does not currently exist. Sure there are things like “health code violations” and “animal cruelty laws” but those can probably be worked around with enough bribe money. The Slaughterhouse Menu (which is an entire chicken pounded flat) features:
- A Complimentary Basket of Hooves
- Beef Salad
- Beef on the Cob
- Beef Fried Beef
- 72 Oz steak
- Sirloin-a-Lot (16 pounds, the size of a boogie board)
- A Whole Lamb
- Milk (from that cow)
- Meatballs (to drink)
The ambiance of the restaurant is also really nice since it’s decorated with hanging steer carcasses and a fountain of blood. As long as you avoid those lousy drunks, you will have an enjoyable (although possibly fatal) time!
Eye on Springfield: The Slaughterhouse From: Maximum Homerdrive (The Simpsons Season 10 – Episode 17)