Eye on Springfield: The Singing Sirloin


Tonight on Eye on Springfield…The Singing Sirloin! As far as I can tell, this restaurant is only featured in two episodes of The Simpsons: in the first season episode Life on the Fast Lane where the staff sing happy birthday to Marge (before a bowling ball crushes her cake) and at the start of Homer vs. Dignity in honor of Bart getting his “First A” on a test.

In both episodes a large group of staff members are singing at different tables through the restaurant – the restaurant’s slogan is: “Home of Ballads and Salads” after all. How is the restaurant able to afford hiring that many staff members? Are all these people also waiters and chefs too? Because otherwise this restaurant must be losing money just trying to pay all the singers.

Also, does anyone, anywhere, actually like when the restaurant staff sings to them? We’ve all been there, your server brings over a piece of cake while other staff members start signing a bastardized version of “happy birthday” to you…and sometimes you might even be forced to wear an ugly hat or something else that is equally humiliating! As they sing, you pretend to smile like you’re secretly enjoying it, but you’re dead inside. “Is this what my life has come to?” you think, as they finally get to the second verse of the song and the nightmare begins to end.

Now imagine that feeling, but you’re stuck in a restaurant where this is happening all the time for your entire meal. Sure they aren’t singing at you, but they are definitely singing. All. The. Time. I know I wouldn’t be able to handle it, but perhaps I’m wrong? Would you be interested in going to a restaurant like this or would you hope that a unchewed piece of gristle would finally end your suffering?

Hmmm…I guess I have some unresolved issues related to being sang to restaurants that I need to work through. Why? Why did my coworkers take me to that Mexican restaurant for my birthday? I shouldn’t have to wear a giant sombrero just to get some chocolate cake dammit!


  1. What kinda restaurant is this? You got eight people singing happy birthday and nobody can bring me a damn salad.
    Have you ever been to a Benihana? They sing happy birthday to you twice, once in english and once in japanese. I tell ya that novelty wore down fast. I like the food there, make no mistake and their banana tempura dessert is awesome but its just annoying now. And trust me I’ve been there more than enough times to say that.
    Plus when you think about it if you got the staff members singing all around the restaurant singing different songs at once that’s gotta sound crummy all around.
    And while not relevant to the restaurant I would like to make a point since it’s a part of the bowling episode. In that episode, Marge goes bowling and wearing those rental shoes without wearing socks. Ew.

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