Nelson: Wow, he can’t even get up. Let’s egg him!
All Kids: Yeah!
– King of the Hill (The Simpsons Season 9 – Episode 23)
Easter is a time to dye eggs all kinds of weird colors for some reason and then you immediately wonder what you’re going to do with two dozen hard boiled eggs. You could make Deviled Eggs…and then immediately throw them at an incapacitated man. Has there ever been a better food item for chucking at people then eggs? Bart would argue that donuts are better for whipping at old people, but I still think eggs are the best. Raw, hard boiled, prepared in deviled form they work so well as an item for throwing. In fact, they are so ubiquitous that the term “egging” literally means “to throw an egg at something or someone” while there is no equivalent word for donuts…donuting? The point is, poor Homer gets egged and thus some delicious Church Picnic Deviled Eggs get wasted. So I made some!
- 12 Eggs
- 1/3 Cup Mayonnaise
- 1 teaspoon Mustard
- 1 teaspoon White Vinegar
- 1/4 teaspoon salt and pepper
- 1/2 teaspoon Paprika (for garnish on top)
There are so many methods online on how to boil the “perfect” hardboiled egg. My method: boil water and place eggs in that boiling water for about 10 minutes. If they’re still runny then you’ve got some Eggs a la Harlod Stacin (they’re always running!). Boil longer.
Once eggs are boiled, make sure to cool them thoroughly before you peel off the shell. Be patient with this step, torn egg skin looks bad and makes for a less stable deviled egg. Scope out egg yolk and mix with mayonnaise, mustard and vinegar. Add salt and pepper to taste. Scoop this mixture back into the eggs and garnish with paprika.
If you do decide to make deviled eggs, please keep in mind that your home will stink for a few hours afterward. Also be prepared for some people to recoil in horror at the mere mention of deviled eggs. I served these at a potluck and they all got eaten, but a few people were not impressed that I was making them since they’re “gross” apparently. I personally think they’re tasty but hey, when in doubt throw them at someone who is lying on the ground incapacitated.
Cromulence: 8 Puny Children out of 10
Church Picnic Deviled Eggs Recipe From: King of the Hill (The Simpsons Season 9 – Episode 23)