Homer: What’s the matter, Marge? I thought you loved Jell-O shooters.
– My Sister, My Sitter (The Simpsons Season 8 – Episode 17)
Bloaters at the Squidport has a solid business model, because I can’t think of any bars that sell Jell-O shots. Why isn’t this more of a thing people? The good news is that even if you can’t buy them while out being a yuppie/slacker, you can make your own Jell-O shots at home and I can teach you! Lisa Simpson may well be the Lizard Queen, I am the Jell-O Shot Queen and it’s time I shared my wisdom with the world. These are perfect for parties around the Christmas-Hanu-Kwanzaa spend phase season since they are the utmost of sophistication as demonstrated by Homer.
- 1 Cup of Vodka (80 proof or higher)
- 1 Cup of Boiling Water
- 1 Package of Jell-O (flavor of your choice)
The traditional way to make Jell-O is add one cup of boiling water to the Jell-O powder until it’s dissolved, then add one cup of cold water and let the Jell-O set in the fridge for a few hours. With Jell-O Shooters I would highly recommend you place your vodka (or the liquor) in the freezer overnight before you attempt this recipe. It’s not necessarily required but I think it makes a big difference in the process.
Boil water and dissolve one cup with a Jell-O packet, as you would with normal Jell-O. Next, add one cup of chilled vodka and stir until combined. Carefully pour mixture into shot glasses and let set for at least a few hours.
You’ll notice that my directions involve some planning ahead of time, but it’s worth it to have perfect Jell-O Shooters for you and (hopefully) others. Do not be fooled by the bright colors, these are strong and, not unlike a Champagne Squishee, should get you pretty darned hammered.
Cromulence: 9 Sisterectomy’s out of 10
South Street Squidport Jell-O Shooters Recipe From: My Sister, My Sitter (The Simpsons Season 8 – Episode 17)