Big John’s Breakfast Log

Marge: I heard that! You know the rule!
Homer: Oh! But I can rebuild! Ow. Ow. Stupid trash. Rotten. Stinky. Hate world. Revenge soon. Take out on everyone.
– Trash of the Titans (The Simpsons Season 9 – Episode 22)

Big John’s Breakfast Log Screenshot 2

What exactly makes a breakfast log? These are the philosophical questions that keep me up at night. Based on this episode, Big John’s Breakfast Log appears to just be a giant sausage. It’s not like a breakfast burrito or other similarly shaped log foods. So I went with the obvious and made a mini version out of delicious pork sausage patties.

Ingredients:

  • Breakfast Sausage

Big John’s Breakfast Log Ingredients

Directions:

Preheat oven to 350F. Reconstitute breakfast sausage into log form – I used tin foil to help roll the shape correctly. Bake approximately 15-20 minutes or until internal temperature reaches 140F.

Big John’s Breakfast Log

This was actually a lot of fun to make. Molding the sausage patties was like creating a gooey, fatty, delicious masterpiece of log proportions. The completed breakfast log was delicious warm, but of course I also needed to eat this cold since that’s how Homer ate his. It was almost as delicious cold. If this was something I could grab from my fridge in the morning, pop in the microwave and then start eating, I probably would. A lot. I’m both happy and sad that this product doesn’t actually exist.

Big John’s Breakfast Log Screenshot 1

Cromulence: 9 Lord Huggingtons out of 10

Big John’s Breakfast Log Recipe From: Trash of the Titans (The Simpsons Season 9 – Episode 22)

11 Comments
  1. i think the breakfast log may actually be a reference log to Jonhsonville or Bigford or similar-brand summer sausage, which come pre-molded in log form for your convenience!

    1. So my recipe was kind of correct then? I will need to find one of these, I don’t think they exist in my part of the world. Next time I’m in America I will buy one and eat it all, for research!

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