Bart’s Manhattan

Fat Tony: Can you mix drinks?
Bart: I don’t know.
Legs: I’ll have a Manhattan.
Fat Tony: Make Legs a Manhattan.
Bart: I’m not sure I… [multiple guns are pointed at his face]
[Bart mixed a Manhattan]
Fat Tony: Well?
Legs: Su-perb.
– Bart the Murderer (The Simpsons Season 3 – Episode 4)

I wanted this Manhattan recipe to be as authentic as possible to the one on the show. But even with all my freeze frame powers, I wasn’t able to get a screenshot of the recipe that was totally clear. This was the best I could do:

Bart's Manhattan Screenshot

Now, the whole point of Bart’s Manhattan is that it su-perb, but what makes it taste that way? The recipe Bart reads off of says the Angostura bitters are optional, but I think he would add them in based on a “more is better” philosophy. Additionally, based on a suggestion from an unknown accomplice, let’s call him “El boyfriendo”, I decided to deviate from the traditional recipe by adding a small spoonful of Maraschino cherry juice. And if you think Maraschino cherries are superior to bing cherries then you’ve taken the wrong side in this chicken fight.

Ingredients:

  • 1 oz. Italian (sweet) vermouth
  • 1 jigger (1 1/2 oz.) Bourbon, blended, or rye
  • Dash of Angostura bitters
  • Dash of Maraschino cherry juice
  • Garnish with one Maraschino cherry

Bart's Manhattan Ingredients

Directions:

Mix all liquid ingredients into a shaker with ice. Shake thoroughly and strain into a cocktail glass. Garnish with Maraschino cherry.

Bart's Manhattan

This was extremely tasty and extremely potent. Making an excellent Manhattan can have it’s drawbacks. Especially when others rely on you to make it at a moments notice.

Mob Boss: So, Fat Tony, you invite me and my associates to your club with the promise of the finest Manhattans in all of Springfield. Now you say your bartender isn’t here?
Fat Tony: I don’t know what happened. Louie, make up some Manhattans.
Louie: I only know how to make wine spritzers.
Fat Tony: Now!
Mob Boss: What have I done to deserve this flat, flavorless Manhattan? [Gives Fat Tony the Kiss of Death] Come on, boys.
Fat Tony: The kiss of death. That’s all I need.
– Bart the Murderer (The Simpsons Season 3 – Episode 4)

Cromulence: 8 Princess Opals out of 10

Bart’s Manhattan Recipe From: Bart the Murderer (The Simpsons Season 3 – Episode 4)

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