Amtrak Style Hot Dog

This is the last menu item on the “Todays Specials” board from Uncle Moe’s Family Feedbag. Unlike the Flestaritos or Ranchy Wingy-Thingys, we actually get a brief glimpse of what Amtrak Style Hot Dogs look like:

They appear to look like hot dogs, fascinating! Back when I was in school, I used to work summers at an establishment that sold hot dogs in one of those spinning hot dog machines. The Kwik-E-Mart has a few variations:

First the hot dogs are “strictly ornamental”…

Kwik-E-Mart Hot Dog Screenshot 1

But later the hot dogs ARE for eating, except without the grease you can really taste the hog anus…

Kwik-E-Mart Hot Dog Screenshot 2

It seems pretty likely that Amtrak would prepare and display their hot dogs in a similar fashion. So I needed to cook the hot dogs and then let them sit in their own juices for about 24 hours to replicate what I assume the Amtrak process is. Since I didn’t want my house stinking of hot dog for weeks, I decided to just boil the wieners for about an hour. I also left the hot dog buns out for a few hours ahead of time to try and get them tasting stale, but not too stale.

Ingredients:

  • Hot Dog
  • Hot Dog Bun


Directions:

Cook hot dogs for approximately one hour so they starts to taste rubbery, but make sure they stay warm. Serve on a bun that is not quite so stale that you’re willing to complain about it to the Amtrak employee who sold it to you. Ketchup and mustard are optional.

These tasted a little gross, but were still edible so I consider that a success. I have actually traveled via Amtrak before, but I can’t remember if they served hot dogs or not. Basically, the food was utterly forgettable but I also didn’t get sick from eating it so I guess that’s a win overall.

Amtrak Style Hot Dog Recipe From: Bart Sells His Soul (The Simpsons Season 7 – Episode 4)

Cromulence: 5 Thank You Doors out of 10

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